Table For One
Going out to dinner on my mom's birthday was something I loved to plan. Traditionally, this was always a day of celebrating. In recent years, it had become a tough day to navigate for me knowing that I could not take my mom out to dinner on her birthday. When I was young, we used to love saving up for a good meal and getting dressed up for her special day.
Once again, this year will mark the seventh time it will just be reservations for one. Mom is no longer here.
We used to banter back and forth about what would be the restaurant of choice, but I would always let mom pick her favorite because it was her day. Seafood was usually the winning choice, and you would not believe what a 5-foot tall 90lb. woman could eat – she was like an Olympic athlete, yet she never put on a pound!
As another year passes, I have decided to energize my positive thoughts when thinking of her passing. Sure, that probably sounds odd, but there were several positives which were born from the grief. For one, a powerful feeling of urgency with all things in my life hit me hard. It was a 'do it now' type of feeling that overwhelmed me. This helped to really propel my self-development forward. Another powerful experience was doing what I wanted to do professionally. No more wasting time and working towards things just because. I became fired up, focused, and launched my company soon afterward.
Another positive path to consider begins with reflecting on all that my mom taught me; there were numerous leadership lessons that I have carried on within me that she helped to instill.
You see, we learn from so many different people in our lives, and they teach us so much but sometimes we don't see it in the moment. They sometimes hit us square in the eye years later after they are gone.
It is in those moments that we realize how important our loved ones are and how special life truly is when they are no longer here to teach us.
Finally, life is a gift. This is the most important lesson my mom left within me.
The final years I spent with my mom taking care of her through the terrible dementia brought so many lessons that made me a better daughter, person, and leader for others. When you watch someone you love reach the end of their life, you begin to see things differently. I spent hundreds of hours inside that nursing home with my mom, visiting with her and talking to the other patients who lived with her. Looking back on so many of those intimate conversations over meals, none of them had ever told me how they wished they had more money or that they had been given that big promotion. Their sole request was that they were loved and that they mattered. They never asked for anything materialistic – EVER. They just wanted to know that they had meaning and were significant in some way.
In 2014, I created The Senior Significance Project in honor of my mother's legacy and on her birthday each year, I remember why I started it. Because of that valuable lesson in life mom taught me: Life is significant, and everyone matters.
This upcoming holiday season will be the 7th year that I will be hosting The Senior Significance Project and it is all because of the great lesson that my mother taught me in life that started this mission.
Please join me on Zoom this Friday as we kick off this year's Senior Significance Project for this holiday season!
