How To Find A Coach You Love
A question I am often asked.
I talk with many people from all over the world during these trying times. There is a common question that continues to surface regardless of the country of origin. I feel there is value in sharing that inquiry with my audience in the event you too were asking yourself the same question.
How do you find a good coach?
As the fallout of the pandemic continues to unfold, people all over the world are thinking about what they want to do next in their life. With millions of people out of work and working professionals working harder than they ever had, many are questioning what their purpose is in this life. As I engage in these conversations, I can’t help but link it to my own set of life-changing experiences. There was a huge void that I also experienced during a crisis in my own life, that caused me to think about what many are pondering today – that is finding a real purpose.
Many of you are considering hiring a coach during this time to help create a level of clarity in your life. Please allow me to share some direction as I reflect on hiring my own coach for personal development and discovery – that was five years ago and I still have a coach today – which includes what to look for in this process.
Below are my key tips for anyone out there seeking to travel this path of self-development:
Are you ready for a coach?
The reason I ask is you must be ready to look deep within yourself and be open to discovering areas you need to work on in your life. I find that some clients are not in the right place yet, which requires a reset in the approach. There was a time in my own leadership journey that I wasn’t willing to hear feedback and I thought everyone around me needed to fix themselves. In truth, I was the one who needed to receive the feedback which I wasn’t willing to listen to. This was my ego stepping in the way – ever heard the saying “check your ego at the door”?
1. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
2. What is important to you in a coaching relationship? This is an important question to think through, so you can convey that information to your coach. You need to be as specific as you can in what your expectations are and what you are wanting to achieve. If you don’t know you won’t be able to determine if a particular coach is right for you and vice versa. If you have worked with a coach in the past and were not happy with the outcome, this is your time to help the coach understand your disconnect with the previous coaching relationship and what you need in a coach.
3. Has the coach been successful in the area you are looking to grow? Now this one is key! There are some amazing coaches out there, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach. When I was looking for my own coach, I wanted someone who could relate to what I was going through and who was successful in what I wanted to do. Success leaves clues, and being able to relate to someone who can understand where I am coming from was important to me. For example, I wanted someone who could coach me on becoming a better leader for my team. If a coach had never led a team before, they would not understand what that feels like and the challenges that come with it.
4. Interview your coach. Coaching is a very intimate process. The coaching process is built around trust and confidentiality. Just like when you interview for a potential job, you are the hiring manager in this job. It is up to you to take the time and ask the right questions of your potential “hire”. Ask what their coaching process looks like and what can they expect while working with you. You will need to do some of the heavy lifting in this process. Ask to speak to or email references of others they have coached for an extended period of time and see if you can speak to them. I always recommend interviewing at least three coaches to see which one feels right for you. You will feel it in your gut when you find that one with a true connection. It’s not about who has the fanciest website or wears the best suit. It is about finding a coach who is going to help you get where you want to go in your journey.
5. A coach is not a cheerleader. Many people misunderstand what the coaching process is all about. The job of a coach is not to motivate you. Only you can motivate you. A coach however is someone to hold you accountable to yourself. They can help you see what you might not be seeing and hear what you may not be hearing. The best coaches ask good questions that help you find the answers that are already within you. It is not the job of a coach to tell you what their answer is during this process. The goal is to help you find your own answer that will bring the best plan of action for your goal.
When you do find the right coach for you, it can make a big difference in getting to your goal.
I can’t imagine not having a coach to help me work through the difficult times of building a business and working on a plan to help me achieve the goals I have set for myself.
To your growth,
Kelly