The “F” Word
We have all said it to ourselves.
I will be the first to admit that I have said the "F" word on many occasions throughout my personal growth journey when I felt like giving up and throwing in the towel.
That little four-letter word that we allow to creep into our minds and use to label ourselves with because you are in a vulnerable moment.
Let me just say it — "FAIL!" There, I did it without feeling any shame.
Perhaps you have said that word to yourself when you didn’t get that job interview you were hoping for or that new client you put all your effort into closing went another direction. Or maybe you didn’t make the final cut for the team.
Listen to me and listen to me good. There’s a difference in how you move through the process of managing your feelings each time you fail. It causes us to feel disappointed in ourselves and that we have let someone down in the process. In short, we can easily feel inadequate.
Everyone experiences failure in life at some point. That comes with the territory and we will experience a lot of it in life if we are trying.
There is a difference between saying, "I failed" and saying, "I am a failure".
Failure is an event, not a person.
What can you learn from this feeling and how can you grow so you may be more prepared for the next time?
Maybe it was the first time you have done something. News flash! No one is good the first time.
Perhaps you applied to a job that is highly competitive in this market and didn’t get the interview. Was there an area where you didn’t have enough experience around that you can improve upon to fill that void? Maybe you can build on your networking opportunities to meet more hiring managers in the industry you are applying to. Turn any "failure" into an opportunity to seek out ways to grow and become better.
If you are failing, that simply means you are trying. That is more than most people can say because most would rather stick with the old habits they live by versus look for new solutions which requires personal growth.
Here are 3 tips that have helped me through this process:
1. Focus on valuing WHO you are first and it will help lead you on this journey. You bring value in your own unique way, but do you know how to communicate it when asked what your strengths are or what makes you stand out? Before I want to know what you do, I want to know who you are. Tell me what makes you unique.
2. Write down each time you have failed! Yes, I would suggest you write down what failures you have experienced in your growth.
This will afford you the opportunity to look back on them one day and realize how small they really were in the grand scheme of things. You may have been miserable in that moment, but look at what you accomplished because of it. You will experience the satisfaction of knowing that you kept fighting which will make you feel proud when you reflect on it one day.
3. Give yourself grace. Listen, I more than anyone strive to get things done perfectly on a consistent basis. When it doesn’t go that way, I feel like I failed. With all of the changes in our world right now combined with the speed that we receive new information, we must allow ourselves to experience grace during tough times. To be human is to be imperfect and that is what makes us all beautiful.
So the next time you find yourself feeling rejected and tag yourself with the ‘"F" word, please recognize that YOU are not a failure. Allow yourself to acknowledge what occurred but take action by creating a plan that allows you to grow from it.
To your growth,
Kelly